Maybe I just started to wear pink glasses

Received message:

Hi, I find it very interesting to read everybody’s opinion here or experience. I am reading here because I am considering if I should get further involved with an Egyptian man or just stay as we are, as friends. I’m happy to hear anybody’s opinion or advise on this matter. I believe I am an open person and I just believe that people are people and some behave good and others bad. No matter their religion nationality or culture. Obviously some we relate to better or have more in common with than others. This is only natural. On the other hand I do not wish to be blind to the problems I am reading here about being involved with Egyptian men sometimes. And yes we all want to think my friend, boyfriend or husband is not like this…

I myself come from a mixed family European-south African. I grew up in Europe, Brussels, but have worked and studied in and with many people from different parts of the world such as Australia, Caribbean, Africa and yes also Egypt. I have been to Egypt professionally and for vacation several times already but considering getting involved with an Egyptian man up til now I have not seriously considered until I met this guy who has become my friend now. I have only met him once actually while I was in Hurghada and he was on holiday himself there from Cairo. I just liked him and we sort of just hit it off like we knew eachother from before which made me feel a bit freaky but it really felt like this I dont know why. I know to some this might sound strange. He asked if it would be possible to stay in touch which I agreed to. We talked a lot about our lives, things we have in common and our differences, our families, goals in life…. sometimes we just write messages but mostly we talk directly via Skype.

After a few months he told me he likes me a lot more than he might have expressed so far he would like to be more than just my friend. He likes so much the person I am, to him I am so beautiful…
I would want to know how serious he really is about this and does he really like me so much as he says or could it be possible he has other motives like so many women speak about. I am reading about testing Egyptian men or well observing their behavior this is a bit confusing though to me. Sometimes I feel anything can mean anything you can interpret it positive or negative sometimes.


As I said he is from Cairo and he study law. For some reason he thought it is important to show me his passport and license, maybe he is afraid I don’t believe him or something like this unless I see it. He works in telecommunication just as me actually. We both love animals so much. I was surprised he has a cat at home he cares for, I have never met an Egyptian man who has a cat as pet (sorry no offence intended but I really never have)
I know his family doesn’t have it easy, his father died shortly after his graduation which was really sad for a time but it’s like 8 years ago now and his family is ok with it now. He knows my family has a hard time too because my mother was battling cancer and hopefully now will recover. I am a very independent woman with a masters degree, he knows the things I have done in my life and the places I have lived and that I am responsible for my own finances since I was 18. Working, saving, and loans for my studies and projects in life. I mean I would think it is clear to any person nobody should be with me to find money, I work hard to pay off my study loans and to support myself and my parents as well even though I don’t live with them we live in different countries. I work in Switzerland now for my job.


I guess like all of us we want somebody to like us and love us for your personality our goals and dreams and who we are not for sex, visas or money. I am going to Cairo with a friend in 2 weeks and I know he wants to see me so much. I will be happy to see him again and I would I guess like to let myself go and get involved in this because as I see him I have a really good feeling with him but I might not be objective anymore … I would like to find out for real what he really wants from me if he is truly serious about this, if that is even possible to find out. Because he says he is serious and he is not into playing games. I should not worry but he understands that I need to know him better and maybe see everything before. He claims he and his family and friends are mixed muslims and Christians, they are liberal and open minded. They would love me so much as well he is sure. He is single but has had prior relationships in Egypt with Egyptian and non Egyptian girl but it didn’t work out. He told me many things about this but basically he felt his Egyptian girlfriend didn’t really love him just wanted to marry for marriage and she though he is very suitable but he couldn’t imagine living like this. The non Egyptian girlfriend couldn’t see having a family which is very important to him.

honestly I sometimes have the impression some Egyptian men are trying to scam. Some others are then actually again so respectful and sensitive and family loving which I find very nice. So if any of you have advice or an opinion on this I am very happy to listen to it. I would especially also like to hear from any of you who have experience long term in a mixed relationship or marriage like this. And if you are involved with a wonderful Egyptian man how you knew it at the beginning and how does it work for example being one person Christian and the other Muslim in the relationship. It would interest me a lot. I personally believe people can make anything work when you are caring and a loving person but then I also don’t want to be naïve here.

Maybe I just started to wear pink glasses ;)


4 Responses to Maybe I just started to wear pink glasses

  • Patricia Hayen says:

    I married an Egyptian man in 1998. He treated me like a princess. When people tried to warn me of what could happen or that he just wanted me to get his licence to stay in Belgium I told everybody, they were wrong, because he was the first guy who wasn’t afraid of showing me to his friends. I’ve had a weight problem since I my childhood and never had a boyfriend for a long time because they were too afraid to be shown with me.
    I saw Saïd in a supermarket. He had arrived 3 weeks before in Belgium. I saw him and for me it was absolutely love at first sight. This was the guy I wanted to spend my life with. Who I wanted to have kids with.
    It took a year before we kissed each other. He still didn’t speak Dutch, French or English so I bought a book to try to learn a few words of Arabic. After 2 months of seeing each other he started pushing me to move in with each other. I wasn’t ready for that, but because I loved him, I did. Quickly after moving in with each other he asked me to marry him. And because I was so happy and felt like a real woman with him, I did. We were only 10 months a couple before getting married. A few weeks later he got a letter that he had to leave Belgium. We went to see a lawyer who was able to keep him here. I soon got pregnant with our first baby.
    And then he started to change completely, from one day to another. When our daughter was born and had health problems, he went to see his mom, who stayed with his older brother in Paris. At new years night I sat there alone in the hospital with our girl, not knowing if she could have brain damage or not.
    From that day on, he really changed. He beated me a few times and it was only when our daughter got in the hospital because she was Always crying, that I told my parents what was happening in my life.
    When our daughter was 6 months old, he left us, but came back after 6 months. We seperated again one year after. He stayed away for 1,5 year but he knew everything I did or where I went to. I was afraid of starting over and although he beat me a few times, I still loved him. We Always told each other that we would never have another baby, but his mother started pushing him that there had to be a boy so he wanted me to quit taking my pill. After 2 months already I was pregnant although I knew it was a bad idea because of our history.
    After 5 months the docter told us that I was gonna have a baby boy so he was really proud. When our son was born, he started singing and saying prayers, which he didn’t do at all with our daughter.
    We also had money problems all the time. I had to pay everything, he sent all he gained to his family. I have proof of 11000 euros in 6 (!!!!) months, without the amounts which I have no proof of. We had so much debts that we had to contact a lawyer to help us. I’m still paying, he stopped last week behind my back. We divorced in 2010, but again I still loved him and gave him another chance. 2 years ago we had a real bad period again but my mother said: please stay together for the kids, which I did. But I told him that I had enough of him saying cruel things to me like I was worth nothing, I was a philty dog, I was a hooker, no other man would ever want me etc. He stopped and everything went rather well for a year. Last year my mother died. He was even crying and he supported me. Even my sisters and stepdad said they would never have thaught he would support me that way. But after a month – I was and am still grieving a lot – the real him started appearing back. He didn’t want me to see my stepdad again, whom I saw as a real father. As I refused, his rage came through. I called my stepdad who came directly to ask what his problem was. Our children saw everything happening. He beat my stepdad, who ran out of the house and called the police. In the meanwhile he took an axe and wanted to beat me with it. If my daughter didn’t come between us, he would have killed me, I’m sure. I was the hooker. He put in his mind that I had an affair with my stepdad. I missed my mom a lot but it would never come to my mind to start an affair with my own stepdad. Whenever he beat me in all this years, he never ever told me sorry once. And I even ask myself why I’m still in love with him, even today. Last year in November I was able to leave him, which was a huge step for me. But I still can’t quit seeing him. I feel that I’m getting stronger and stronger but yet not strong enough to let him go forgood. I hope that I will be able to one day.

    So let me give you the advice: no matter how lovely and caring they seem to be, open your eyes because they really don’t accept that a woman says no. I’ve had lots of friends with a multicultural marriage and they all seperated. And as with me, they were really loving and caring at the beginning. If you can, run as fast as you can, and try to find someone of your own culture. Because usually they start changing after the marriage of when the first kid has arrived, like it was with me. Good luck.

  • Diana says:

    i can tell you my story, in a nutshell: in 2006 i met this tunesian boy who worked in the hilton long beach hotel in Hurghada. It took me 1,5 yrs to get him to holland. We got married here, i got pregnant and it takes me already 2 yrs to get divorced. These men only want to marry Europe. The cultures are to different, different morals, different standars, which we never understand. They know poverty and know exactly what to do to get a better life. In their eyes we are rich, no matter what, only because we come from europe. Eventhough his intentions may seemok, i can only say, run as fast as you can. You can send me a private email if you wish. Please be so carefull. As they know exactly which button to press to make you fall for them. Before you know it you are in the web of lies and cannot find a way back. The love money, thats the only tjing they love. Women are nothing for them. Never forget that you can the man out of the country, but the country never out of the man! Be wise, think twice! My story was i told you so and i do not wish it anybody else.

  • Hilde says:

    I don’t think that the previous reactions apply to the man you know( of what I read from you ) I know from experience there are very decent Egyptian men, although I have to admit my very good experience is with a Christian Egyptian.
    I am also belgian(full)

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