Daily Archives: April 18, 2014

I don’t want to be anyone’s “SHAMEFUL PARTNER”

Received massage:

I met this Egyptian man. He’s from Alexandria, Egypt but at the time, he worked in Jeddah, Saudi Arabia.
He claimed he loved me and I started to feel the same for him. He was a real sweet talker. Any doubts I had in my mind, he would ease with promises he would allow me to live life as I knew it in the United States. When I started researching life in Egypt and Saudi Arabia, I told him I wouldn’t be able to travel to KSA. So he made up this story of how he was threatened with prison because his employer’s wife made charges against him that were untrue about sexual advances. He “ran away” to Egypt, so then he wanted me to go visit him.
A few years into our conversations, he got tired of waiting for me saying he was a man with needs so he ended up marrying his cousin, had their son last year and was gone for 10 months online.
When he came back, he said he was detained for manifestations in Alexandria. (Protests) He claimed he didn’t love his wife and was unhappy. The research I did online suggested that if he wasn’t willing to introduce me to his family, he had ulterior motives with money, visa, or sex. Maybe all of the three things.
I asked to meet his mother and his family. He told me he didn’t want the confrontation between his family and me to get ugly so he suggested confronting them on his own.
His plan was to get a flat in Cairo where he would get work. We could get married there without the knowledge of his family because they would try to stop the marriage if they knew.
Later on, he would let me meet his family who would eventually accept me because now we’re married and they can’t do anything about it.

What I found out from various sites is that the possibility of this was because he was ashamed to have his family meet me. An honorable Egyptian man would have argued for my case to be married with him and defend my honor and demand respect for me from his family and friends. He wouldn’t try to hide me.
When he said he was facing jail time in KSA in the beginning of our conversations, he said he needed 10,000 EGP so he can make bail. I told him I didn’t have money like that. So he moved onto the visa part.


When we get married, he told me he would help me out with my bills here in America and help me attain a house. I told him the US Embassy wouldn’t allow me to marry him since he’s already married. So he moved onto the sex part. He told me he would find me a flat in Cairo where he works and take a vacation for a week so we can be together. I don’t want to be anyone’s “SHAMEFUL PARTNER” so I told him to stay married to his *cencored* in Egypt and to leave me alone.
He hasn’t been online for 3 weeks now. I guess his love for me was that shallow to him that he doesn’t care to fight for me. I warned him though. I told him I wasn’t his typical dumb American bunny as they refer to their victims in Egypt.

Moving on with life as I know it. Always yearning to learn about other cultures and languages. I’m happy with my life despite the “wasted years” with him online. It wasn’t really wasted. I felt I learned from it and hope that others will learn from my experience and what I did to resolve it.



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April 2014
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