Monthly Archives: July 2012

Fraud in Tunisia

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After a few years, without any holidays and a lot of hard work, I really needed a vacation.

 

In October 2006 I left for one week holidays on Djerba. Sun, sea, beach and some rest, was all I needed. Beautiful hotel, friendly people…., what else could I ask for?

 

It didn’t take long, before I got extra attention from one of the handsome guys working in the restaurant of the hotel. The spark hit on. After a few times going out for a drink, after work, I was completely lost. After some failed relationships and a marriage in Belgium, I really believed that this boy was different from all the men I had known before. He gave me attention, sweet words, my ego boosted immediately to a 100%. My heart was beating so fast, that it got me dizzy. I was lovesick, never had this feeling before.

 

Far too soon, the time to say farewell came, it hurted so bad and at first sight for him as well. Back home I felt so lonely and all I could do was think about my handsome, young Tunisian. Every day I received many text messages with sweet words, promises, longing, etc……, my heart melted away with all this attention.

 

Soon afterwards I decided to return to Djerba for a few day in November. He arranges a small house for the two of us, where we did spent nearly all our time. It was a dream full of love, affection, full of anything a woman can wish for. In November I also met his family. Nice, sweet people, that accepted me as if I’d always been one of them. I would enclose them in my heart, love them, for the future, as well.

 

Time moved on very slowly, my next visited was planned for January. Every day he faithfully did sent me the text messages and every night I rang my love. It was a dream. But now looking back it became a nightmare. Because of my love for him, I was really on a pink cloud and completely blind.


In December my boy friend started to talk about the fact, that he was going to his uncle in Germany. If he could not stay in Germany he was planning to marry a German woman, in order to get his residence or passport. I was so upset, that I just simply said to him: “Why don’t you come to Belgium?” In fact at that moment he manipulated me to marry him. What woman in love, does want her love to marry some one else, no matter what the reason is.


From that moment onwards, the run for papers started, so we got married in March on Djerba, according to the local traditions, a henna night, different dresses, a wedding with all the trimmings. Of course I financed all this, including his clothes.

 

When it comes to our wedding presents (in Tunisia that means money) I never saw one dinar. Our wedding night was one big disappointment, as I was changing in the bathroom, he fell asleep. If you come down from your cloud, a long time after everything happened, you realize how parts need to be fit together. At the moment itself, you still believe everything is normal, I even tried to find excuses for the fact he fell asleep. I should have know there and then that he did not love me and that he’d been using me.


Every 6 weeks I went to Djerba. Of course I did bring presents for him and his family. Often they asked me to bring things like mobile phones, medication, clothes, shoes and chocolate. The rent for the houses where we stayed, were paid by me, the cars that were used to drive the family around the island, were paid by me. And every time I left, I gave him money, because he was not working anymore.

 

Every time I was in Djerba, the strangest things happened, which I couldn’t see clearly. He left me for hours with his family, while he was away to the café with his friends. Pretending he had to visit the dentist. We hardly ever went out alone, every time half the family went with us. Even the night before I left Djerba. I can come up with lists of things I thought they were normal or were condoned by him and believed by me. Only afterwards I realized it was not normal at all.

 

Time crept and the administrative whirligig was turning to get him to Belgium. After different interrogations and loads of letters to the prosecutor and immigration, my husband came to Belgium in November 2007. Without any clothes or money, just like that…….


I bought him clothes, I fed him, gave him money every day for his cigarettes and to drink coffee with his Tunisian friend, whom he found very fast in Belgium. All came from Djerba, were married with women, that were older then they were, some time a lot older.

 

The first night he came in Belgium, in “our love nest”, he fell asleep at 21.00 in his seat. He was so happy to see me!? A lot of things he did and did not do, gave me a clear view on my situation. Everything was normal for him, I was working day and night. I did build up a lot of debts, due to my visits to Djerba and the fact that I supported him. He was in his chair in front of the television all day, at night he was occupied with the computer. There was no love left, no respect, no affection, no sex, just NOTHING. I decided to file a complaint against him for a sham marriage. All this happened in February 2008. In the meanwhile, things went on as usual.

 

When I told him to go and look for a job, his answer was that he could not find a job, because he had no diplomas. In June 2008 the letter from the Belgium government came, my husband had 1 month to leave the country. In the letter it was mentioned very clearly that I was the one, that filed the complaint. From then onwards life with him was impossible. It was a mixture of manipulation (also by his family), anger and sadness, the same scenario every night. I left my house and stayed for 3 weeks in a hotel, again money….while he was staying in my apartment. I was awaiting the decision of the court. The verdict was he had to leave my apartment by the end of July.

 

In the meantime he was moonlighting in a restaurant, so he did have a salary. Since that time he stalked me with text messages, wait for me in front of my house or at work. He wanted to convince me that he loved me and that he couldn’t live without me.

 

The police was not really helpful, I had no where to go with my problems, my pain, because I had been deceived by some one I loved dearly.


Now a days he’s living with a new girl friend and her parents. My divorce is supposed to be started in September.


He doesn’t sit and wait, twice he asked me for alimony. The first time he cancelled that demand, but today he is very determined, he wants alimony. So this is been taken to the court as well and God only knows what the verdict will be. In case I need to pay for him, I’ll have to find myself a second job.


He says that he puts me under pressure, because he want me back, not because of the alimony. And to show him I still love him I have to stop the complaint I filed and the divorce.


I know that I am the key for him to stay in Belgium. That’s the only reason he tells me he loves me.


A very painful experience, something that happens every day with girls and women that meet a Bezness fraud. It starts of so wonderful, “1001 nights”, but before you realize it, you end up in hell. Some of them can keep up their comedy for years. Fortunately my prince on his camel, did drop his mask just a little too fast.

 

It hurts, it will always hurt, but the pain will fade away in time. Sincere feelings for a person, you can’t wipe out of your heart just like that. The worst part is to realize yourself that the other person never loved you, but used you to have access to a residence in Europe.

 

All this influences my life on a daily basis. I still have a long way to go, a long, black way.

 

 

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