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Na 10 jaar al deze ellende voor een paspoort.

 
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Hallo allemaal , ik zit met verbazing de verhalen te lezen nee , voor mij nooit geen Egyptenaar meer . Ik zal proberen mijn verhaal te vertellen al valt me dit nog erg zwaar.
 
In 2004 heb ik Ayman leren kennen in Sharm tijdens de vriendschap die we hadden tot 2006 heeft hij mij nooit om geld gevraagd dat leek me een goed teken en toen hij mij ten huwelijk vroeg en ik zei een orfi huwelijk ? werd hij boos tuurlijk niet antwoordde hij zo gezegd zo gedaan met zijn hele familie zijn we dan ook getrouwd in Alexandrië met een huwelijkscontract met mijn voorwaarden waar hij mee akkoord ging.
 
 
Oktober 2007 kwam hij naar Nederland en ons leven samen begon . Een baan vinden was lastig maar lukte hem , heimwee had hij zeker maar door veel te skypen met zijn familie leek het wel goed te gaan Zo ging ons leven samen door , een rustig leven met een makkelijke sociale man die mij als een koningin behandelde , door tot januari 2015 , de maand waarin Ayman zijn paspoort kreeg, het had ons 10 jaar gekost om het geld ervoor te sparen doordat we elke maand 300 euro stuurden naar zijn familie maar goed hij had zijn paspoort nu dan toch .
 
In juni 2015 was hij op familie bezoek en in augustus kwam ik naar Sharm om samen met hem ons 10 jaar huwelijk te vieren dat was een super week hierna ging ik terug naar Nederland en hij zou 10 september volgen maar , Nadat ik twee dagen thuis was , kreeg ik een whatsapp berichtje van hem dat hij in de maand voordat ik naar Sharm kwam getrouwd was met een Egyptische uit zijn woonplaats Alexandrië . Achteraf ben ik erachter gekomen via sociale media geschiedenis ( die hij vergeten was te wissen ) dat hij gewoon een dubbelleven had geleden en eigenlijk al sinds 2012 op zoek was naar een “Egyptische “bruid en sinds september 2014 er een gevonden had en met haar bezig was , maar ze toen nog getrouwd was en pas in januari 2015 beschikbaar was voor een huwelijk .
 
Zelf ben ik nog in shock en kan het gewoon niet geloven Ik heb hem nog een keer gesproken , zijn stem is het zelfde maar hetgeen hij zegt is vreemd voor mij Hij zegt dat hij terug moest komen naar Egypte van zijn vader en daar trouwen en kinderen krijgen maar ik geloof er niets van . 
 
Wat ik wel weet is dat ik verder moet maar weet na 10 jaar even niet hoe en al deze ellende om een paspoort ?   

 
 

Bezness Cyber Monster

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Ladies and girls targeted by Egyptian love rats!
You think you are in relationship, but your boyfriends continue to act as if they were still single!
• Stop thinking that my Mohamed is different!
• Stop wearing “rose-tinted” glasses!
• Stop ignoring signs and warnings from other people!
• Open your eyes, and stop being blind in love!

 
IF SOMETHING LOOKS TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE, THEN IT PROBABLY IS! It is common sense as nobody can love like a Beznesser, in reality he is an accomplished liar and cheat.

 
These scammers will always be successful as long as we, European-educated, pragmatic women keep losing our senses after a few days of good sex with an Egyptian during a holiday romance.
They target our loneliness and emotional emptiness and we are their easy targets for money and passports, because we trust them!
 
They are masters in manipulating people and we must face the truth. We are too naive to see it, all of us, both young and those of a more mature age. They say what we want to hear and sell us the illusion of love and happiness.
 
I was targeted by an Egyptian Man for money, a flat and an EU passport. It was so nice to feel like I was in a relationship, so special, loved, sweet talked, complemented and simply feeling pretty and happy! I really wanted very much to believe that I was his special one and so I ignored all the red flags in my head.
 
When I discovered his true intentions I simply couldn’t believe it. He was in relationship with 2 other women at the same time and had many more just for sex. My beautiful illusion was destroyed and, the bad taste stayed with me for a long time. I have learnt my lesson very well. Finally time helped me to forget. I was angry with myself, just how could I trust such a liar! Many people knew his true face but nobody told me.
 
From that moment on, whenever I see a Bezness in action, I try to warn victims about what sort of man he really is.
Can you imagine what sort of on-line feedback I get from these European women?
 
Just a few examples:

1. You are a psycho, my Man is different! Prove it!
2. If you can’t have him, nobody can? He left you and chose me, you can’t accept it!
3. I know you tried to have him, but he sent you away and this is your revenge on my boyfriend!
4. You are a hacker attacking my decent Man!
5. Why do you tell me this, I don’t want to know, you are a liar!
6. It is not your business, F…. Off!
7. Don’t say that! He may have acted like that in the past, but since he has been with me, he has been faithful. I am his one and only love.
 
Then I just feel like a Bezness Cyber Monster fighting with decent Egyptian Men, accusing them and I am close to giving up!


 
Girls, you don’t want to know the truth, until suddenly your eyes are opened by a terrible shock!
 

• Please, >> don’t ignore what other people say! >> don’t ignore the signs you see! >> her friends, do not say “it is not my problem, if she is that stupid”. She is not stupid, she is just been completely brainwashed, “blind in love”, she is a victim of love fraud.
   
These signs usually are:
• Whenever he calls you “Babe”, without using your name, you are probably not the only one!
 

• Whenever he says “We can’t go public on FB with our relationship, as I may lose my job in the Hotel!” This is crap!!! You are probably not the only one!
 

• He often says “We can’t talk tonight as the connection is bad / my data is over / the Wi-Fi is not working / I have a night dive everyday / I am too tired to talk, text me”. It is just a good excuse as tonight he is in a relationship with another woman;
 

• When he starts to control you, getting offended for no reason, telling you to keep your relationship just between the two of you, telling his ex-fiancee is simply jealous and wants revenge, telling he has been badly hurt by women in the past, saying “although many women want to have sex with me, I refuse because I am a decent guy and you are my only love” this is also a red flag!
 

• Saying “I am concerned about my family, they have problems / I have to give money to my brother who is getting married / or my sister is getting a divorce, and I have to pay the lawyers”. He just wants your sympathy and your money.
 

• Beware when he puts pressure on you if he says “EU Tourist Visa lasts for only 3 months and then what happens to us? We will be still apart! I need a different passport to be with you”. You may have no money, but you do have a great asset in the form of an EU passport, so don’t get married this way as it is simply an immigration fraud!
 

• Saying “Sorry but we can’t meet up as I have just heard that my grandma has passed away and I will have to attend her funeral. You should cancel your flight.” Watch out as a sudden change of plans probably means two girlfriends have arranged to visit at the same time and one has to be put off!

 

• If you are involved with a tourist guide, a diving instructor, or any hotel staff, it is highly probable that you may be, or already are, the victim of emotional fraud or a Bezness.
Remember! A Smartphone is a liar’s best friend, as he can send his sweet messages such as ” I love you”, “I miss you” even though he is lying-in-bed with another woman! Permanent access to the internet is a real Bezness Cyber Monster, supporting bad guys in bewitching our brains.

 
I know at least a few decent Muslim Egyptians working in tourism, but they are just exceptions confirming the rule, married and living with their families and children, decent guys. Single ones, they always declare, they want to marry an Egyptian women, as that is their culture, religion and tradition.
   

Red flag: he works for the tourist industry.

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Red flag: he works for the tourist industry. Hotel = tourist industry.
 
I am also in a situations very similar to this, but i have lived in cairo and met the men there. I also am here reading this because I am confused about if he is one or not.
I just did a test on him. Do not be available for him for a few days, or weeks, and see how your love will stand the test of time.

 
My story starts off with one egyptian guy beating me and a few days later falling for this one. everything is coming together; or frequent fights and all happened after i agreed to take further steps. (engagement) he has so many dreams and goals for us and it all seems too good to be true. he spends his day at the coffee shop and still dont know what kind of business he is running.
i am learning a lot though.

 
my advice, do no believe it. they are masters of seduction, know their women psychology because they have nothing better to do with their time at the cafe but read into psychology of women and sex, and they are amazing lovers. all of these are beautiful to a western women when our men tend to be colder and “bad boy” like.

 
The egyptian man will make you feel like a women. they will know your emotional and your needs and ask what you eat, that they love your smell, that you will never have to work a day in your life, that a women should never be on her hands and knees cleaning toilets while there is a man in the house. All of these things to make you think that you are GOLDEN.
But all of these things come with a price. Being obedient and respectful. You will soon find that some things that normal men in the west will not even flinch at, the egyptian will say you are disrespecting him.
Then here is where you mind starts to play tricks on you: you start to weigh out his PROS and CONS. Well its only once he yelled, he usually is so nice and caring.
These episodes will increase. When you finally commit to him; he will change.

 
An expression i like to say: even if you feed the wolf, it will still return to the woods.
 
Can’t take away societal, family, and religious lessons your man learned away. FROM any person for that matter. YOU are a product of your environment, peppered with your own judgments and perceptions of reality, culture, and religion (even if you follow it or not).
 
Run… time heals. You will forget. Run while you can.

 
 

Maybe I just started to wear pink glasses

 
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Hi, I find it very interesting to read everybody’s opinion here or experience. I am reading here because I am considering if I should get further involved with an Egyptian man or just stay as we are, as friends. I’m happy to hear anybody’s opinion or advise on this matter. I believe I am an open person and I just believe that people are people and some behave good and others bad. No matter their religion nationality or culture. Obviously some we relate to better or have more in common with than others. This is only natural. On the other hand I do not wish to be blind to the problems I am reading here about being involved with Egyptian men sometimes. And yes we all want to think my friend, boyfriend or husband is not like this…

 
I myself come from a mixed family European-south African. I grew up in Europe, Brussels, but have worked and studied in and with many people from different parts of the world such as Australia, Caribbean, Africa and yes also Egypt. I have been to Egypt professionally and for vacation several times already but considering getting involved with an Egyptian man up til now I have not seriously considered until I met this guy who has become my friend now. I have only met him once actually while I was in Hurghada and he was on holiday himself there from Cairo. I just liked him and we sort of just hit it off like we knew eachother from before which made me feel a bit freaky but it really felt like this I dont know why. I know to some this might sound strange. He asked if it would be possible to stay in touch which I agreed to. We talked a lot about our lives, things we have in common and our differences, our families, goals in life…. sometimes we just write messages but mostly we talk directly via Skype.

 
After a few months he told me he likes me a lot more than he might have expressed so far he would like to be more than just my friend. He likes so much the person I am, to him I am so beautiful…
I would want to know how serious he really is about this and does he really like me so much as he says or could it be possible he has other motives like so many women speak about. I am reading about testing Egyptian men or well observing their behavior this is a bit confusing though to me. Sometimes I feel anything can mean anything you can interpret it positive or negative sometimes.

 

As I said he is from Cairo and he study law. For some reason he thought it is important to show me his passport and license, maybe he is afraid I don’t believe him or something like this unless I see it. He works in telecommunication just as me actually. We both love animals so much. I was surprised he has a cat at home he cares for, I have never met an Egyptian man who has a cat as pet (sorry no offence intended but I really never have)
I know his family doesn’t have it easy, his father died shortly after his graduation which was really sad for a time but it’s like 8 years ago now and his family is ok with it now. He knows my family has a hard time too because my mother was battling cancer and hopefully now will recover. I am a very independent woman with a masters degree, he knows the things I have done in my life and the places I have lived and that I am responsible for my own finances since I was 18. Working, saving, and loans for my studies and projects in life. I mean I would think it is clear to any person nobody should be with me to find money, I work hard to pay off my study loans and to support myself and my parents as well even though I don’t live with them we live in different countries. I work in Switzerland now for my job.

 

I guess like all of us we want somebody to like us and love us for your personality our goals and dreams and who we are not for sex, visas or money. I am going to Cairo with a friend in 2 weeks and I know he wants to see me so much. I will be happy to see him again and I would I guess like to let myself go and get involved in this because as I see him I have a really good feeling with him but I might not be objective anymore … I would like to find out for real what he really wants from me if he is truly serious about this, if that is even possible to find out. Because he says he is serious and he is not into playing games. I should not worry but he understands that I need to know him better and maybe see everything before. He claims he and his family and friends are mixed muslims and Christians, they are liberal and open minded. They would love me so much as well he is sure. He is single but has had prior relationships in Egypt with Egyptian and non Egyptian girl but it didn’t work out. He told me many things about this but basically he felt his Egyptian girlfriend didn’t really love him just wanted to marry for marriage and she though he is very suitable but he couldn’t imagine living like this. The non Egyptian girlfriend couldn’t see having a family which is very important to him.
 

honestly I sometimes have the impression some Egyptian men are trying to scam. Some others are then actually again so respectful and sensitive and family loving which I find very nice. So if any of you have advice or an opinion on this I am very happy to listen to it. I would especially also like to hear from any of you who have experience long term in a mixed relationship or marriage like this. And if you are involved with a wonderful Egyptian man how you knew it at the beginning and how does it work for example being one person Christian and the other Muslim in the relationship. It would interest me a lot. I personally believe people can make anything work when you are caring and a loving person but then I also don’t want to be naïve here.

 
Maybe I just started to wear pink glasses ;)

 
 

The key to marrying a good Egyptian man is to test him.

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I am a foreigner male living in Egypt. Egyptian men overall are quite wonderful and I personally know many men here who would be great and ethical husbands to foreign women. This perhaps comes via meeting a lot of men so I am able to weed out the good catches from the not-so-good.
 
 

Although I hate to generalize, there are some negative personality traits that I have observed too often from a lot of Egyptian men which can be red flags. Control freak tendencies even if minor, quick personality shifts or changes which can include revenge, quick to anger, inability to admit errors or wrongdoing, and poor active listening skills thus a tendency to interrupt too quickly.

 
The key to marrying a good Egyptian man is to test him. It thus increases the odds for success. Wanting to leave Egypt is not always a bad sign since many indeed want to create a better life for themselves and their future family or at least explore the world. Of course if their goal of marriage is to just obtain a visa then that is the biggest red flag.

 
Here are ways to improve your odds via tests. And it doesn’t matter if Egyptian men read these tests and attempt to con you by pretending to be ethical. The truth always seeps through sooner or later even if via the smallest discreet ways.

 
1) Avoid those who work in the tourism industry or who have access to a lot of tourists. He should be working though somewhere. Not all are bad of course. I am just saying it will increase your odds if his work has nothing to do with tourism. At minimal, try to meet men elsewhere other than at a tourism setting.

 
2) Observe carefully his active listening skills towards you and others. If he interrupts too quickly, doesn’t ask you and others questions about the things you and others are saying, etc, etc then than can be a sign of lurking impatience as well as him lacking certain social observational skills. If he is truly interested in you and others, he will be consciously aware of not interrupting when others are talking. Also, good active listening skills is also a sign of intelligence. A good listener is able to acquire more data, is less likely to assume or jump to quick conclusions before knowing all the details, and being a good listener is also reflective of politeness and kindness which are both reflective of having above average intelligence. A patience is a very good sign reflective of a man who is less controlling. A man who is a good careful listener can lead to success, especially in the future when conflicts or disagreements arise. Egyptian men, for some control freak reason,
always usually have to be right, if there is a conflict. You will observe this via their listening skills when it occurs whereby they reject what the other person is saying and sticks to their own opinions feeling that their own opinion is always the correct one.

 

3) Monitor carefully if he is able to admit errors without a ritual dance of denial. And can he apologize quickly without the denial dance. I have actually only met one Egyptian man in my life who can do that. If they make an error and it is exposed or confronted, they usually go to great efforts to blame the other person or situation. This behavior is also contradictory to common religious beliefs. Egyptian men will often say God Willing that something should happen. But if something goes wrong they too often get frazzled. Maybe it was God’s Will that something went wrong, right? Not getting frazzled so quickly by things that go wrong, and being able to admit wrongdoing to you or to others reveals a man who is both respectful to others and towards God.

 

4) Make sure he is absolutely against the idea of Muslims marrying 4 wives, even if he is a Muslim. Now I am not saying that he might marry others after being married to you. On the contrary, the point is that he should be against the idea itself. If he is, that is a sign that he can understand how to properly love and care for a woman because his awareness can understand loyalty and devotion. It doesn’t matter what is allowed by religious laws or cultural acceptance. Even if he is a Muslim he should not like that notion of 4 wives. The truth is, marrying 4 wives is basically legal cheating. And it is a very cruel thing to do to a woman no matter all the fancy justifications or possible reasons for it. Would an Egyptian man like it if his wife was married to 3 other men even if it was allowed or there was a good excuse for it? No way; his heart would be shattered and broken.


 
5) Test him via your communications with other men in front of him. Does he tend to get jealous if you speak to or have male friends, or does he get frazzled if you speak nicely and give friendly attention to other men around him? If an Egyptian man truly loves you he won’t get frazzled by this to the point of control. He will want you to have male friends and he will want to elevate your life and freedom not constrict it. It doesn’t matter all the fancy justifications for controlling women’s interactions with men such as religious justifications, what the neighbors will think, claiming that other men will flirt, etc…. it’s all nonsense. The truth is it is about control and jealously. A smart man knows that if he properly treats and loves his woman, she will not flirt with others and will remain loyal; even if other men flirt with her, she will not respond back in that same manner. He thus should not get frazzled if you go out for lunch with another man. (It is slightly taboo to do that in Egypt but in other countries it is fine.) So test him and be sure he knows you have male friends too. If he takes an interest in your male friends and becomes friends with them too, well that is a very rare Egyptian man. Remember, when Egyptian men say things like they are ‘worried for your safety’ if you go venture outside alone such as shopping, it is all a hoax and they know it. It is all about control and jealousy.
 

6) Perhaps at first show minimal interest at living together in another country. Show more interest in you wanting to stay in Egypt and carve out a life together with him. Even if you have to slightly lie, this still can be an important test to determine if he truly loves you or just wants a marriage only to gain foreign nationality. The truth is, if there is strong devoted love between two people, where you live – even temporarily – makes no difference, you just want to be with each other. Also, a very good life can indeed be carved out in Egypt. It is a false notion that only a good life can be found overseas. Incomes are of course different. But the truth is I have more chances at living like a king here in Egypt than I do in my country of birth.

 
7) Observe his religious beliefs whatever those are. It doesn’t matter what the belief is, just note one thing: can he humble himself to the truth that he might be wrong about what he thinks he knows or has been taught. Humbleness is the key to being spiritual and religious, not indoctrinated know-it-all assumptions. Humbleness might manifest like this:”The Koran says this, but the truth is nobody know really knows if it is the exact truth or not.” or “This is what the Koran says will happen, but God is powerful and can do whatever He wants including change prophecy”. Etc. Humbleness is a rare quality. That is why no Muslim can accept when you tell them that Prophet Muhammed wrote personal letters to Kings around the world stating that Jesus is God in the flesh. One of those letters is in St. Catherine’s Monestary in Egypt. Tell a Muslim man this and he will always reject it because he cannot humble himself to the truth that he and others (including religious experts) might be wrong about what they know or have been taught.

 
Don’t be strict with testing. Men are not perfect and do indeed make mistakes and deserve chances. Just use keen observation and don’t rush into the relationship. My points aren’t mentioned in order to find a perfect Egyptian male but rather only to increase the odds of success by observing certain discreet personality traits either good or bad. And if you are paying out money too fast too many times at the start of the relationship….. danger, danger, danger, red flag.

 
 

I don’t want to be anyone’s “SHAMEFUL PARTNER”

Received massage:
 

 
I met this Egyptian man. He’s from Alexandria, Egypt but at the time, he worked in Jeddah, Saudi Arabia.
 
He claimed he loved me and I started to feel the same for him. He was a real sweet talker. Any doubts I had in my mind, he would ease with promises he would allow me to live life as I knew it in the United States. When I started researching life in Egypt and Saudi Arabia, I told him I wouldn’t be able to travel to KSA. So he made up this story of how he was threatened with prison because his employer’s wife made charges against him that were untrue about sexual advances. He “ran away” to Egypt, so then he wanted me to go visit him.
 
A few years into our conversations, he got tired of waiting for me saying he was a man with needs so he ended up marrying his cousin, had their son last year and was gone for 10 months online.
When he came back, he said he was detained for manifestations in Alexandria. (Protests) He claimed he didn’t love his wife and was unhappy. The research I did online suggested that if he wasn’t willing to introduce me to his family, he had ulterior motives with money, visa, or sex. Maybe all of the three things.
 
I asked to meet his mother and his family. He told me he didn’t want the confrontation between his family and me to get ugly so he suggested confronting them on his own.
 
His plan was to get a flat in Cairo where he would get work. We could get married there without the knowledge of his family because they would try to stop the marriage if they knew.
Later on, he would let me meet his family who would eventually accept me because now we’re married and they can’t do anything about it.

 
What I found out from various sites is that the possibility of this was because he was ashamed to have his family meet me. An honorable Egyptian man would have argued for my case to be married with him and defend my honor and demand respect for me from his family and friends. He wouldn’t try to hide me.
When he said he was facing jail time in KSA in the beginning of our conversations, he said he needed 10,000 EGP so he can make bail. I told him I didn’t have money like that. So he moved onto the visa part.

 

When we get married, he told me he would help me out with my bills here in America and help me attain a house. I told him the US Embassy wouldn’t allow me to marry him since he’s already married. So he moved onto the sex part. He told me he would find me a flat in Cairo where he works and take a vacation for a week so we can be together. I don’t want to be anyone’s “SHAMEFUL PARTNER” so I told him to stay married to his *cencored* in Egypt and to leave me alone.
 
He hasn’t been online for 3 weeks now. I guess his love for me was that shallow to him that he doesn’t care to fight for me. I warned him though. I told him I wasn’t his typical dumb American bunny as they refer to their victims in Egypt.


Moving on with life as I know it. Always yearning to learn about other cultures and languages. I’m happy with my life despite the “wasted years” with him online. It wasn’t really wasted. I felt I learned from it and hope that others will learn from my experience and what I did to resolve it.

 
 

`Die van mij is anders`

received message

 
Ik woon nu ongeveer 10 jaar in Egypte.
 
Toen ik 17 was ging ik voor het eerst op vakantie naar Hurghada. Werd verliefd, ging een aantal keren terug op vakantie. Toen ik 20 werd, wou ik echt verhuizen naar Egypte , niet alleen omdat ik verliefd was, maar ook voor het warme klimaat en het “makkelijke” leven, thuis in België voelde ik mij alleen en een buitenstaander, op mijn ouders kon ik ook niet rekenen.

 
Al snel vond ik een leuke job als animatrice in een hotel, mijn toenmalig vriendje vond dit niet leuk, dus heb ik al snel deze relatie verbroken. Ik was jong, wou doen wat ik wou, achteraf bekeken zal hij mij ook wel hier en daar bedrogen hebben (met vrouwen en financieel) dus conclusie: goed opgelost.
Heb toen 4 jaar als animatrice gewerkt en nog eens 2 jaar een relatie gehad met een andere Egyptenaar, toen ik daarvan merkte dat ik slechter behandeld werd dan ik verwachtte,heb ik deze relatie ook verbroken. Dit vertel ik vlotjes maar heeft mij zeker op de momenten zelf pijn gedaan.

 
Toen ik na ongeveer 2 jaar mijn huidige “vriend” tegen kwam, is het eigenlijk pas slecht met mij beginnen gaan: ik was echt verliefd, dacht dat hij dat ook was. Alhoewel dat alles gewoon duidelijk was, hij niet anders is dan al die anderen, was ik dom en blind verliefd en dacht dus echt “mijn Mohamed is anders” .. Niet dus, in de ogen van een Egyptenaar ben ik gewoon een goedkope hoer, uit een slechte familie, die ze dus kunnen gebruiken. Vernederen zoveel ze willen en waar ze geen respect voor hoeven te hebben, ook al is het zo en weet ik dat, kan nog steeds niet geloven dat wij als mensen zo wreed kunnen zijn.
 
We woonden al snel samen, al had ik steeds mijn eigen appartement.We woonden namelijk in het huis van zijn vorige vriendin, waarin hij gratis mocht blijven wonen. Ook zij had een aantal jaren geleden geld gegeven voor zijn eigen zaak op te richten, daarvoor was hij ober in een hotel.. Hij heeft me dit allemaal eerlijk verteld. Het voelde niet goed.
Ik zou terug verhuizen naar mijn appartement, ik vond dat hij maar eens mocht gaan vertellen tegen die ex dat hij een nieuwe vaste vriendin had of dat hij in ieder geval uit het huis moest gaan, maar hahaha.. Wat dom van me : zijn status: een villa , zou hij nooit opgeven, tot we op een bepaalde moment zo’n hevige ruzie kregen , hij kreeg namelijk telefoon van haar, zei vroeg hem of hij al getrouwd was of een vriendin had waarop hij nee nee antwoordde, ik zat er gewoon naast..!!

 
Ik was verliefd maar dit kon ik niet slikken, heb haar toen zelf opgebeld en verteld dat ik een aantal weken in haar huis had gewoond maar dat ik vond dat dit niet kon. Hun relatie was echt verbroken doch wou zij natuurlijk niet dat er in haar huis een ander meisje woonde, en god weet wat voor feestjes er nog allemaal werden gegeven.. Ze heeft haar huis toen verkocht snel daarna heb ik toen geprobeerd om begrip te hebben voor de situatie. Zij was in de 50, hij had geld van haar gekregen toen in de tijd, bij mij valt er niks te rapen en bovendien ben ik veel jonger dacht ik, wij hebben een echt relatie , dacht ik.
 
Na 3 jaar een zogezegd goede relatie te hebben, kreeg ik opeens telefoontje van een vriend. Hij vertellende dat mijn vriend zich was gaan verloven in zijn Dorp met een Egyptische..Ik heb hem daar met geconfronteerd, was natuurlijk niet waar.
 
Een paar dagen daarna kwam ik erachter dat ik zwanger was. Ik vertelde het hem en hij werd gek van woede, ons kind wilde hij niet hebben, een bastaard kind ! Misschien heb ik op dat moment de verkeerde keuze gemaakt , maar ik Zag hem graag en ik hield mezelf voor de gek met de gedachte dat hij mij ook graag zag , ik zou mijn kindje houden.
 
Hij is toen toch niet getrouwd maar de relatie zou nooit meer worden wat die was. Omdat hij nooit “echt” was, ik was een scharrel , een poppetje met wie hij kon showen als het nodig was.
 
Ben in België gaan bevallen, na 6 weken al terug gekeerd, meneer wou een DNA test, heeft die gekregen.. Op zijn manier ziet hij onze dochter graag, financieel draai ik er voor op, al geloofd hij zelf dat hij dat doet..
Ben een aantal maanden in België geweest en voelde mij daar niet goed, heb niet gestudeerd, kan enkel op mezelf rekenen en financieel is het voor mij en mijn dochter hier beter dan daar..heb toen afspraak gemaakt met hem dat ik terug naar Egypte zou komen, zou werken, bij hem wonen, voor een jaar, zodat ik zou kunnen sparen om na een jaar terug naar België te kunnen gaan met geld in mijn zak voor meubeltjes, waarborg..

 
Ik was altijd zo fier op mezelf, geen dure maar mooie kleding, altijd fris en opgemaakt, hier in Egypte heeft mijn dochter het goed, kan naar de cribbe, mooie kleding , speelgoed, zwemmen, de zon, haar papa. Ben zo bang voor als dit jaar om is , heb op de een of andere manier een job gevonden toen voor een jaar, een Ibo contract met de VDAB, waardoor ik niet slecht verdien nu , ook dit is straks voorbij ..
 
Hij helpt ons nu wel verder maar wetende dat je eigenlijk niet welkom bent omdat hij liever wil genieten van het leven dan deze last mee te dragen, wetende dat je kind geen grootouders heeft, doet allemaal pijn.. Hij behandeld mij nu slecht, laat me weten dat hij ons liever ziet vertrekken dan komen..
 
Voor de buiten wereld is alles zo mooi maar het is echt een hel, vernederend voel ik me, en rot dat ik me niet sterk genoeg voel om gewoon te vertrekken, ben zo bang voor het onbekende, wil niet in armoede leven , bang om door de zwarte sneeuw te moeten, en verdrietig omdat ik niet weet dat mijn dochter gelukkig zal zijn, met mij, zonder haar papa…het zou eenvoudig moeten zijn, gewoon vertrekken maar op de 1 of andere manier voel ik me daar niet sterk genoeg voor..
 
Door al die vernederingen voel ik me echt gebroken, voel me niks waard..en toch zet ik elke ochtend mijn masker weer op en begint er weer een dag waarop in denk , komaan, nog effe sparen en het kan, totdat ik weer maar eens slecht behandelt wordt, dan komt het verdriet weer naar boven, en voel ik me helemaal verlamd..

 
 

Beware of orfi-marriage in Egypt

Received message:
 

Hello, my sister met a man from Egypt about a year ago and she fell in love with him. She met him online and she has traveled 4 times to meet him and also live with him. I don’t trust online relationships and never liked this man.

The problem now is that she married this man in Egypt while she was married to her first husband. She was separated from her first husband but not officially divorced. Since she was not officially divorced to marry in Egypt, I believe she married by an ORFI marriage which I have read in the internet that is not legal in Egypt.
 

Just a few days ago she called me to tell me that she is in trouble because the lawyer that marry them somehow found out that she is still married to her first husband. She told me that the lawyer said that she could go to jail in Egypt for this. Can she really go to prison for getting married by an ORFI marriage while still being married to her first husband?
 
I thought ORFI marriages don’t have any value in Egypt and so she should not have to go to prison. Now the lawyer told her that he can void the ORFI marriage but he neeed 5 thousand dollars to do that and she can then leave Egypt and return home otherwise she will be going to prison for 10 yrs.
 
The lawyer want some relative of
my sister to bring the money to Egypt and meet in a hotel and do the exchange of my sister for the money. I believe this is all a scam by the lawyer to get the 5 thousand dollars or is my sister really in trouble.
 
How can I help her? She said that we have about a week to get the money and for us it not easy to get that amount of money. Please give me some advices as to how I can help my sister.
 
She has asked me not to contact the embassy or the police for help. Thank you.

 
 

I told him I was expecting a baby from him……I never saw him again.

 
Received message:
 

I read all the article and all of your comments that scars me a little bit… because i live in Hurghada and i am very crazy about an egyptian man working there as a ophthalmologist in a hospital we met during summer time i was walking normally in the streets and he was following me with his (huge) car then he stopped and told me that he found me beautiful blah blah …

 
Well i felt alone in that moment and ageed to go drinking something with him, he told me almost everything about his life in that hour after we met.

 
I saw him almost everyday he took care about me, offers me flowers all the time, telling me all the sweet words i wanted to hear, giving me a lot of presents and so on …

 
So summer has gone and i had to go back in Belgium and i stayed in my country 3 months but i was missing him a lot i thought about him all the time he was calling me everyday from Egypt we used to stay on the phone all the night long then one day he sent me an airplane ticket for Cairo to see his family i was the happiest woman of the world i agreed right away so the day came… i was in Cairo Airport waiting for him he finally showed up after three long hours…
 
When he saw me he was very glad he took me in his arms , so we went in his car and we were leading to his family house we arrived at his family’s house i saw her mother, sisters, brothers, father , cousins etc.

 
I stayed in that house for 7 nights but i got soooo borred without going out and without seeing him a lot… he was sleeping upstairs and me downstairs , one night i came upstairs in his bedroom i wanted to talk with me and to tell him i was pregant …

 
So i told him i was expecting a baby from him when i first tell him this he completely changed , he was being rude and violent but there was another problem i was pregnant (without marriage) he told me to get married very soon i didn’t agree i didn’t want to get married that fast (i needed time…) we had a fight and in the morning i left (without his knowledge) i took my suitcase and took a car to go to hurghada.

 
Once i arrived in Hurghada i called him and told me to come here but he didn’t want..

 
So after staying three days in Hurghada i took a plane and got back home .

 
I never saw him again …
 

Just find out as much as you can before you marry.

 
Received message:
 

 
I have been married to Egyptian for the past 7+ years. I paid for all his visa, residence and recently his citizenship in the US. The ink was not even dry from his citizenship paper and about a month ago he announced to me that he planned to marry a second wife. He left the US on October 10th, 2013. I found messages between him and his “fiance” saying that they would marry on October 12th. Before he left he tried to convince me that he was not getting married this trip. I know different. He admitted he married in message chat a few weeks ago. Now he says he does not have a second wife. He did not contact me until almost 3 weeks after he arrived in Egypt he has never done that before he always let me know as soon as he arrived and gave me a phone number. I asked him about this and he said that he did not have a phone or internet. I said to him you were on the internet last week and he asked how I knew. I told him that I saw his Facebook postings. I asked him how he was
doing busisness without a phone, he said his partner is the one doing business for him. This man is attached to his phone I know he has a phone there.

 
The worst part is I was reading some blogs and there were some women who talked about finding out that they were second wives, but did not know it. I believe my husband was already married, then married me and now took on a third wife. He did everything they do when they are hiding the first wife from the foreign wife. He did not tell his parents at first that we were married and then the second time I went to visit he said while we were at his family’s house we could not sleep together. I had to stay in his sister-in-laws room, etc.

 
This man has taken so much money from me. About a year ago I took a well paying job in China, he said that he wanted to start a business and that he would travel between China and Egypt for business. As soon as I was established in my job he traveled to Egypt claiming his mother was very ill and I helped him with all her Doctor bills. He claimed she needed a specialist and that it would cost several thousand dollars. I was sending him money the whole time he was there including paying for all his trips. He had a good job in the US and he used the Family Leave Act to be with his mother. He did go back to the US and continued to work and came to visit me in China and start buying electronics to take back to Egypt. He took as much money as he could. He did not tell me he had stopped working months ago and all the bills back home were falling behind. Not to mention he was making arrangements to marry the new wife. Apparently the dowry was $40,000 US dollars. I asked him if her pussy was made of gold, he said that since he is already married and wants children that he had to pay, now I realize that I was paying for her. I told him that she is a prostitute and her family are her pimps. A surrogate mother in the US does not cost that much, I told him he was stupid for agreeing to that.

 

Now I am losing my home and have been working just to catch up on all the bills he left behind. Not to mention he left my kids 16 and 20 by themselves, in a house that we are losing because of him. He came to China and is here now I have not told him were I work or live. He has contacted me via Skype and wanted me to continue helping him with his business. I told him absolutely not. I will not support him and his wife/wives in Egypt. He says I am crazy and that he doesn’t have any other wife, but me. I know this is not the truth.
 
He was carrying on a relationship with this girl since he had gone to Egypt last year. I had seen messages from her. He and she both claimed that she was a man. I told him/her that we were still married in every sense. He claimed to stop talking to him/her and then when I went to the US in October I found messages from him/her. I had those messages translated by a friend who told me they were getting married as soon as he arrived in Egypt. He told his “fiance” that he was not staying with me while I was in the US and had his friends cover for him, he in fact, was with me until the day he left to Egypt. He lies to her as much as he has lied to me to get what he wants.
 
Since he left on Oct. 10 his car has been repossessed for non-payment, his license has been suspended for not paying a ticket and he has left me so far behind with everything else. The worst part for me is that he and I had planned living in China for another year or two, because of our “future” plans together, then he pulls this. We were supposed to be working together. Now because of all the bills I have to stay for work and be away from my children and family. He did not care how he hurt me or my kids. Now I am trying to pick up the pieces. He even went shopping with me before he left for Egypt and bought clothes for his “niece” and now I realize he had the nerve and odacity to be shopping for his new wife right in front of me.
 
He has no shame to his game, even saying that I would never leave him because I care about him. I have been with this man almost 8 years and he was able to scam me and the US goverment for that matter. I found that they advise each other on how to scam us. He has a very good friend that did the same to his American wife and then went back to his first wife in Germany. They are always on the prowl, one is not enough and taking from one women is not enough. They have absolutely no conscience. Not for their victims and they have no remorse for what they do. They think that it is perfectly fine because we are foreign women. They do not respect their Egyptian wife/wives either because they lie to them also.
 

The worst thing is about 3 years ago I noticed a real change in him and recently found out that he is a crystal meth user. He told his “fiance” that he uses and she said she would not accept that, however, still wanted to marry him. Up until two days ago he wanted to “borrow” money from me. I have cut him off from any communication. He is a heavy drug user and continues to use even in Egypt. He claims he is in “the heaven” there with so much drugs available to him.

 
Contrary to what he believes, I am divorcing him. I know that he will get what is coming to him. What goes around comes around. I think that this type of person is very dangerous for the fact that he had so much patience in waiting until he became a citizen to show his true colors. I wasted 8 years and so much money it is embarassing. I was married for the right reasons, he used everything he could against me. He was abusive in the beginning (until I pulled an “Enough”) and was verbally abusive the whole marriage.

 
I posted this for anyone considering marrying an Egyptian (or Middle Eastern), know that they advise each other. They use very suave ways and make you believe they love you as soon as they have you, they use and abuse you. Until they see they can’t use you anymore then they drop you like a hot potato. They are compulsive liars. I wish I knew back when I first met him the things I know about how to tell if they are already married. Know that no matter how sincere they seem about paying you back they will take more than you even thought you could give. They do not adapt to other cultures, I’ve seen that not only with him but with many of his friends. They are very cunning and deceiptful.

 
I don’t like to generalize about any one group of people and am sure there are men in Egypt that are not like this, but all the people that I have known that married them this has happened.

 
Everyone is free to do what they want. I am a professional woman and it happened to me. It can happen to anyone.
 

I wish everyone the best, just find out as much as you can before you marry.

 
Thanks I needed to get this out.
 
 

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